Well

Well, I haven’t been racing lately since it’s too hot in AZ to hold bike races other than TT’s and crits, and I’m too poor to travel to anything but MTB Nationals - which is less than two weeks away!! - and NORBA’s, so due to that and a bunch of other lame excuses, I haven’t blogged lately. Here’s what I have been up to though…no good, as usual.

Numero Uno: The Five Percent Ride

So a few weeks ago, the Snake, Hightower, and I decided to drive to the top of Mount Lemmon to ride mountain bikes in the cool air. Kyle and I spent many hours online finding a good loop on the mountain. So we decided to link together some trails on top to make a ten mile loop. We just wanted a mellow ride. The ride started down a fire-road and then dove into the woods on singletrack. At first, it was great, a little overgrown, but great. Then, it got more overgrown, and more, and more, and more. Finally, Jake, Kyle, and I were lugging our bikes through heavily overgrown woods and over fallen logs and a not riding at all. Long story short, we ended up hiking our bikes for over two hours. We kept moving forward since the trail would trick us every now and then. Fabulous singletrack would appear for a few minutes and then the trail would become unrideable again. Ok, here’s the bad part, I had a vaccine on Friday and our hike was on Sunday. I think the vaccine messed with me because I got really woozy about an hour and a half into the walk. Kyle tried to take my bike, run up the trail with it, and run back down the trail to get his, but I kept yelling at him about getting hurt or something. Finally, I was so out of it - I actually felt drunk…kinda wish I was - Kyle ended up carrying both of my bikes…I can’t believe I am admitting this. Between the three of us, we got five fat tires, but the other one flatted that night in my garage. After we made it back to the car, Kyle remarked that we had ridden for about five percent of the time we were out there…thus, it was named the five percent ride. In total, we travel ten miles in three hours. Blazin’ fast.

Numero Dos: The Hundred Percent Rides

Went mountain biking in Flagstaff last weekend. Kyle got a twenty-niner. Those things aren’t too bad, they sure do role over obstacles more smoothly than a regular mountain bike. Kyle did awesome for being new to mountain biking. He dropped me on the climbs and didn’t get dropped - too badly - by me on the descents. Very nice.

Numero Tres: Baby Mountain Lion

So after Flag, Kyle and I went to Parker, AZ, where his aunt and uncle have a house on the Colorado River. I drove a jet ski sixty miles per hour. Wowee. I also amazed Kyle’s relatives with my fantastic tan lines. Oh baby! Then, we went riding along the Colorado River on a dirt road one morning. We saw some deer, and there were large paw prints all over the ground. Suddenly, a creature bounded across the road in front of us. It was maybe two feet tall, it had spots, and it’s paws and legs were way too big for it’s body - kinda like a big puppy - but it was definitely of the feline sort. Kyle and I both instinctively stopped, and I said immediately, “Turn around.” We both turned around and started pedaling the other way. Kyle thought we had seen a baby bobcat, but then we realized it had a long tail…definitely a mountain lion. I’m really glad we didn’t meet it’s mommy.

Numero Cuatro: My New Phone

Yeah, I got a new phone, thanks to my lovely parents. But as many of you may know, I had the other one fished out of the porta-potty because I needed the numbers on it. So I stuck it in a plastic bag and took it to the Qwest kiosk at the Mall in Tucson. I handed it to the guy behind the counter and asked if he had any gloves. He didn’t, so I told him he might want to wash his hands after he tried to get the numbers off it. Why, he wanted to know. Oh, well, ya know, I dropped it in the toilet. Oh, no biggie, he says, people do that all the time. I didn’t tell him what kind of toilet. Is that bad karma? Anyways, some jerk must have peed on it or something, because I couldn’t get the numbers back. It was totally burned out. Waaaaaaaa. I hope that guy washed his hands…

Next…well, I’m off to MTB Nationals in Vermont in a week.  Till then, I’m wishing it were thirty degrees cooler in Tucson and less humid so my swamp cooler would work better.  Kyle left for Cascade today where he can show off his new mountain bike skills…or not.