What does the word positive mean?  We can start by looking it up in the dictionary: positive.  Ok, ok, so it means a lot of things – thanks a lot dictionary.

How about this – what does the word positive connote?  In other words, what do you associate with the word positive?  Well, in my case, and maybe it’s because I’m ridiculous and idealistic, but it connotes something good, something better, something more.  I’d rather have a positive balance in my bank account than a negative one.  I’d rather have a positive conversation with my boss than a negative one.  Ok, so positive is good, right?

Wrong.  Those hoitty-toitty smart asses in the medical community decided to go and screw with the word positive and make it a bad thing.  So when you hear your doctor use the word positive, you can go ahead and set yourself up for having a negative reaction.

So what did I have when my doctor told me I had tested positive for the infamous kissing disease?  Ebstein-Barr Virus.  MONO!!  I had a freakin’ negative reaction.  You have got to be kidding me!!  Where the hell did I get mono?  The only person I’ve been kissing is Kyle, and he doesn’t have mono…yet.

I’m going to go ahead and blame my students and the dirty computer lab where I work.  Nothing is more disgusting than a computer lab, I assure you.  While I am innocently in class, helping 30 students learn how to make maps, the evil little viruses are crawling all over us!  They love computer labs, which no one ever bothers to sanitize.  I mean, they seem so clean, after all.  So modern, so high-tech.  There couldn’t possibly be millions of germs on one little mouse, right?

Well, the conclusion here is that I have mono.  Ok, so I probably sound pretty upset about this, right?  Well, I am in some ways and I am not in others.  I do not get to race my pretty, brand-new cyclocross bike.  I do not get to go to the best race ever – Collegiate MTB Nationals.  I am, in fact, not allowed to ride my bike for at least three weeks, because apparently, my spleen might explode.  Who needs a spleen anyways?  I say, let’s just take it out, and then there’s no risk.  But really, it’s not that big a deal, because thankfully – and I am thanking the race gods for this – it really is the off-season after all.  For once, I’m actually going to get a true off-season.  No riding, not even to school.  I get to be really lazy and take lots of naps.

And do you want to know what the funny part is?  I’m less tired now with mono, than I am when I am training hard.  Being a cyclist is more exhausting than having mono.

But here’s the scary thing.  I’m getting reconstructive knee surgery at the end of October.  So what does this really mean for my off-season?  That it’s 3 months long.  No riding for three months.  And not just no riding, no nothing.  Someone please tell me that I’m going to be able to come back from this and not get dropped from the peloton next year.  Someone?  Anyone?

Ok, well my coach said I’ll be fine, I just won’t be a Christmas Star like everyone else in Arizona – flying at the beginning of January.  But ya know, that is not a bad thing.

Oh well, se la vie…that’s life!

I’m off to take my post-breakfast nap.